Time Issues

In my last post, I talked about how I knew that I could handle the trials of game development.

The trials of deadlines, however, are another issue.

I always had problems with both initiative and general responsibility. In fact, these defects led me to terrible experiences when I was in my bachelor’s degree. Though, through my master’s degree, I eventually outgrew these issues by a large factor, I discovered a new issue with deadlines: stress. More spcifically, even when I do prepare and work responsibly, the presssures of the deadline on the normally difficult projects that I had to do, these projects having more complex depths than first glance, risked my health each time. In fact, I even had to be hospitalized one time.

My fear here is that these types of projects that overtly distress me, even if I thoroughly plan at the start and work on them a lot in a daily matter, would be the norm if I were to work in a software company, especialyy a company that sells electronic games.

In other words, I can handle game development, but I might not be able to handle corporate game development.

I guess that my decision to make my own business was the best fit to me. Because I am in charge of myself at my own company, Tinglar, I can set my working hours and take necessary breaks.

I fear that I would exaggerate the other way, though. More specifically, I fear that I would goof off and, subsequently, neglect the games that I am developing. The consequence would be my neglecting and disappointing my current and future customers. After all, I, a businessperson, have a responsibility to my customers!

Even so, I would rather have this burden to the customers than a burden to tough deadlines.

 

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A Living from Making Electronic Games

Since a few months ago, I have started a business from making my own electronic games. In other words, I have made myself reality one of the fantasies children and adolescents have had. Does that mean that I am living the dream?

Yes.

Let me take this subject a bit more seriously. Back then, I was unsure of what would be my major when I was going to take my bachelor’s degree. I decided on computer science, thinking that the degree would help me gain more skills that I can use in helping people, my experience with computers being the reason why others frequently came with me when they got computer problems. When I was attending orientation, the director , partially out of jest, suggested that we who attended the orientation were excited to make electronic games but were going to be surprised and disappointed in that we were not making games instantly, but instead doing boring stuff. This may be from the different ways I have learned responsibility up to that time, but I had no such illusions. Even if I was not wasting my life on games, the “boring stuff” was necessary! I could not, nor should I attempt to, avoid hard work!

The work turned out to be not that hard. Sure, I still had self-discipline problems that made most courses difficult to me, but I was surprised at the way I handled classes that were directly related to programming itself! Programming projects that took others around 3 days took me only 1 day! In an X86 assembly language class, I managed to give a correct solution that was different from the professor’s answer! Most importantly, I found the act of programming itself to be fun! In other words, I think I made the right choice in college major!

I still goofed off heavily during the time I worked towards my bachelor’s degree, though the way I goofed off was significant. I did not simply play a lot off games; I also read a lot of articles that detailed their history. (I could tell you why development or the Sega Saturn was difficult, or again, what was the problem with Pachi Com!) I also toyed around with game development, spending some time now and again on GameMaker Studio. I even had fantasies of actually making several games! However, I never really went ahead here because, even if I had the self-responsibility, I knew that games would get me nowhere in life.

I was so wrong.

During counselling on the subject of my potential major in my master’s degree, I learned that earning money making games was actually a noble, adult endeavor. This new perspective excited me into officially making game development my major…  excerpt that that major was going to be cancelled because, for some reason, too few people were signing up. More counselling had me decide on a compromise: I would instead take software engineering, but I would pick my electives based on the classes that were required by the major in game development. Despite this, I still wondered why the game development major was going to be cancelled due to too few people signing up, given how many people wanted to take computer science out of desire of becoming a game developer.

I received a couple of answers around the start of my master’s project. The answer I got was that, normally, people who signed up for master’s degrees already had jobs and are studying out of a desire of career advancement. Given how relatively rare are jobs in the industry of electronic games, someone taking a major in game development is unexpected. During the overall conversation, though, the subject of fantasy against reality came up. Specifically, there was talk over a lot of people who wanted to make games, only to quit the idea entirely upon experiencing the very real hard work involved in actually making these games. I felt disgusted at this phenomenon, given that I did not have any illusions of “easy development” in the first place! (My self-responsibility grew a lot since my bachelor’s orientation by the time I started my master’s project.) Indeed, my master’s project was extremely difficult, me hitting some dead ends that left me a desire to quit… but I knew better than to quit.

Oddly, though, despite being excited towards the idea of taking a break after I finished the programming, I was hankering to program again only around two weeks after I did finish! That was the point that I realized that I really was not only willing but also capable of actually making a living off electronic games, even taking into account the gruelling trials that form the reality of game development!

At times, I come into the advice that basically says “Careers based on what you really like will turn what you really like into what you really dislike.” However, after spending my college years both growing in responsibility and actually experiencing, multiple times, some of the trials involved with both software development in general and game development in specific, I can confidently say that I still want to make a living based on what I really like: electronic games.